You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
