Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My balls are so social today.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
