I think I am morally bankrupt
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
