True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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