What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
