The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
