u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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