did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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