My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
