shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
