Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
