You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
