so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Help. Why am I so naked?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
