hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
