bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
