And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
one might say we're banned from that church
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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