Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
