I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize