Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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