he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize