i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
