ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
