do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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