I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
