Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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