so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
