I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
