I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
