I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
