it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
