sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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