I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
