i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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