are you so shy because you have an std?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
