i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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