Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
