its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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