dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
