Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
