It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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