GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
