I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
