Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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