We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I believe in your delicious
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