I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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