another moral hangover. fuck.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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