don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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