Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
