what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize