Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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