Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize