I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
