I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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