It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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