You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
