She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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