at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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