batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
