matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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